gush from my cha-cha

According to my doctor, I am dilated to one centimeter. I consider this progress. My mother says the time is near because my face is shiny. I'd like to depend on more scientific indicators like roundhouse-kick-contractions or the river of amniotic fluid which will likely gush from my cha-cha at a most inopportune time, like when I'm in line for scratch tickets and Steel Reserve.