The Monster Under My Bed

When Mike and I were cleaning the house to make way for baby, I decided to schlep all my dusty books and textbooks over to Half-Price Books, a used bookstore. After an hour or so of wandering through the store, I returned to the sales guy who wrote me a slip for my money and pointed to a pile of my books he claimed "were not in demand." On top was this:



My mom had sent me the kid's book, cartoons and all, to help me learn Chamorro. It would have been appropriate if I were 9 instead of 19 at the time. Still I pleaded to the gentleman, "My good man! Surely you jest. I Birak Gi Papa' Kattre-Ku is in high demand! How could you reject such a fine work of literature?"



"This is a perfect example why children's beds should have guardrails!"



"And check out the Home Alone allusions!"



"And the climax where the mom discovers that the 'monster' is really porn!"

And I stood there arms akimbo and warned, "Listen mister, you just wait until the movie comes out. Then we'll see what's in demand."